Camping and Poverty

Living in Haiti as an American is hard. It's complicated. It's uncomfortable. You are constantly bombarded with situations that throw your mind into a frenzy and remind you that you are different.

We started our new weekly reading story in 2nd grade today. On Mondays I give a little background information on our topic to help the kids have a frame of reference before they read. Unlike the target American audience the curriculum is written for, my students often come into a story or assignment having no clue what in the world the book is talking about. Snowball fight, huh? Uncle Sam, who? Roller skates, what are those? Doors that open automatically, crazy! Stairs that move by themselves, why do you need those? 

Today was one of those days. Our story this week is about a family that goes camping. Explaining what camping is to room full Haitian children is difficult. As I tried to describe how people leave their houses with electricity and comfy real beds to "rough it" in the woods for fun, I literally had a student yell out "why?!" in response. Why? Well I've gone camping numerous times in my life, but it sounds kind of frivolous when you have 25 kids staring you down who know the reality of sharing a thin mat on the floor to sleep on at night, or using a lantern everyday because they never have electricity, or bathing in the river, or cooking their food over a fire for every meal they are privileged to eat. It's a weird feeling explaining what seems like a fun, adventurous activity to the western world, yet real, everyday life in Haiti at the same time. Days like these remind me how differently my life is from my students'.

It's not just with teaching either, of course. Every Sunday night all of the Sonlight staff get together for what we call "American Church." This year we are reading and discussing the book When Helping Hurts. We had our first discussion session yesterday, and boy was it difficult. Even for those who have lived in Haiti for most of their lives, it's difficult to answer questions like "What is your role in alleviating poverty?" and "Do you rationalize your responsibility in alleviating poverty?" We've all wrestled back and forth with wondering how, when, and how much to give when you are living in a place where you are surrounded by impoverished people. Compared to American standards, none of us missionaries would be considered rich by any stretch of the imagination. All of our money comes from what is donated by others. But here, we will always be looked at as the rich Americans with great opportunities and resources. And though it doesn't always feel like it to me, I know it's true. I might only get 1/10 of the average American salary to live on, but I always have food to eat and access to luxuries like running water and electricity. I might not have health insurance, but if I got sick I could run down to Norma's and get some antibiotics. I might not have many resources while living here, but I know a lot of people who do.

Being the "rich American" can be exhausting. It means almost everyday someone will come up to you with a need. "Miss Alisha, can I have $20 to buy rice for my family?" "Miss Alisha, my sandals are broken, do you have new ones?" "Miss Alisha, can you give me money to get my hair cut? And the ever popular, "Miss Alisha, m grangou," meaning "I'm hungry." One of the little street kids in our neighborhood came up to me with the "m grangou" line yesterday, and you know what my response was? 

"Every day?!" 

Seriously. What was I thinking?

Now in my frustration I meant it as, "you ask me for something ALL the time, you're asking AGAIN?" But when I really thought about it, I realized what a stupid, selfish response that was. Yes, of course everyday. I get hungry every few HOURS. If I didn't have food and I knew my friend did, I would ask them for something to eat everyday too!

But the question we struggled with most last night in talking about poverty was where do you draw the line? What is the point when you say "I need this for myself, I don't have anything extra to give you." Is that ever a legitimate response? Is there a point when it's better not to give in order to break the harmful cycle of dependency? Is it ok not to pay for a kid's schooling because you KNOW that everyone will find out about it and 10 other kids will come out of the woodwork wanting you to pay for their schooling every year too? Can I not feel bad about saving up money to go home over Christmas break when I know some of my neighbors are hungry right now? You can only give but so much before your own well-being starts to suffer, right?

But then I read verses like these:

 "Anyone who has two shirts should share with the one who has none, and anyone who has food should do the same." Luke 3:11

"What use is it, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but he has no works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and be filled," and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that?" James 2:14-16

"As it is written, 'Whoever gathered much had nothing left over, and whoever gathered little had no lack.'" 2 Corinthians 8:15

"Then He will also say to those on His left, 'Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me." Matthew 25:41-43

Living in Haiti is hard. It's complicated. It's uncomfortable. Any Christian can, and should, struggle through some of these same questions about poverty, but it's a lot harder when that starving child isn't just a random face on the commercial anymore. It's a lot harder when it's a real live child sitting next to her mother, listening as her mother tries to give her to you because she doesn't want her any more and can't take care of her. I'm praying that the Lord would continually give me wisdom and discernment, and a less selfish heart.

Please be praying for all of us here at Sonlight as we struggle through how to live "rich" in an impoverished land. We know we are helping through giving the gift of Jesus and education, but we all still struggle with facing the realities of poverty day-to-day. We're praying that God uses this study time together to enlighten and encourage us!



P.S.
It really is difficult living on a missionary budget when there is such great need surrounding you. I often wish I had more resources to be more generous. If you would like to help with practical needs here, I'd love to take some donations to use for giving purposes only (as opposed to meeting my individual financial goal to serve here, though I'll always accept that too! Ha.). It'd be great to have some extra resources to give out as needed! If you'd like to ship down things like kids shoes and clothes, snack packs like peanut butter crackers, or give money through paypal noting that it's to be used specifically to help with someone's personal needs like schooling or food, I'd love to have some extra resources on hand to distribute as needed! Let me know!